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Unread 06-07-2013, 07:12 PM   #5
Kenny McCormick
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Time to pick nits with it. Hmm..

but all 2014 Corollas have LED lowbeam headlamps with LED daytime running lights,
I do like this. I wish we'd stop using thoes god-awful HIDs and start using LEDs. These things last for-bloody-ever, use next to no power(You'll lose more wattage to the wiring than the lights themselves a lot of times), and they're infinitely more durable as well.

LED headlights as industry standard pl0x.

an in-glass AM/FM antenna,
Oh yay, let's require a $350 windshield replacement whenever the radio antenna breaks. BRILLIANT!...I thought we moved away from this crap years ago. It was big in the early 90s, and then suddenly it wasn't a thing anymore.

color-keyed outside door handles and outside mirrors,
Hmm...maybe with an option to have the door handles contrasting to make 'em easier to find at night? Not too much to argue with here.
a 60/40 split fold-down rear seat
Translation: We took the back seat from our grandfather's Ford Cortina and stuffed it in here with new upholstry.
power door locks
with automatic locking feature
This should be illegal. So annoying.

power windows with driver-side one-touch up/down, air conditioning
Nice, nice.
with pollen filter
Yay, let's put the world's most useless filter on the car. Bet it's hidden in an incredibly hard to reach nook that involves dismantling the entire dashboard to access and isn't even listed in the maintenance intervals, either.
standard Bluetooth connectivity
Nice for those that'd use it. I just ignore my phone though.

With the S model, you also get flappy paddles for some reason.

which is also available in the Corolla S in case you also find flappy paddles ridiculous in a Corolla like I do.
Thank you, semi-anonymous Jalopnik editor.

You get 17-inch wheels and ventilated disc brakes in all corners with the S,
Better than I expected, actually.
and 15 inchers with rear drums on the base model,
Not ba-...waaaaaaaaiiit a minute. Wait wiat wait. Hold the phone, stop the presses and all that jazz.

DRUM. BRAKES?! asdfgfdg come on Toyota that crap got old years ago. Four corner discs is industry standard even in bargain-bin crapmobile class. Get with it. S trim axle should be standard for all corollas.

Vehicle Stability Control (VSC), Traction Control (TRAC), Anti-lock Braking System (ABS), and Brake Assist" comes as standard, just like the Smart Stop Technology brake-override system and the electronic tire pressure monitoring system.
Yaaaay, loads of aids to make inept drivers more inept. Bet there isn't an off switch for any of it, either.

Electronic Brake-force Distribution (EBD)
I do like the electronic brake bias adjustment, that would come in especially handy on pickup trucks where the weight bias could shift wildly depending on trailer/cargo status. If you're towing near-max it'd make sense to automatically shift the brake bias rearward, since there's more grip back there than there is empty. Not sure what good itt'l do on a little family sedan like this, but it is a nice little gadget that I wouldn't mind retrofitting.

...erm...yeah. I think, if I were buying a car in this segment, I'd look pretty strongly at what Ford and GM are offering before I even thought about coming to Toyota.

Originally Posted by Mike View Post
I'd respect a 7 or 8 speed auto a ton more, not sure how it is worse.
Too many gears. No sedan has any business with more than six, and most will never have a use for more than five. 7 and 8 speed boxes are notorious for hunting around because the computers can't make their mind up which gear to be in...bad enough with just four to choose from but with eight on hand they're changing gear every thirty seconds.

Sure, perhaps it's over complicated, expensive, over engineered, but a 4 speed automatic? This crap is straight outta's just lazy.
If it works it works. The Camry and the Corolla have always been bargain-tier generic 12' slabs of car, so there's no incentive to push the envelope with them. The people that buy them buy them because they're cheap and dependable, they don't want or care about anything beyond that. For people like that a 4 speed automatic transaxle is just fine.

For the record I do agree that a 4 speed autotragic in 2013 should only be found on a golf cart, but at the same time, look at the type of car we're talking about. The typical Corolla customer doesn't care. They just want 12 feet of Toyota sedan. That also explains the laughably weak kneed four pot engines, the likely lack of accoutrements, and from what I can tell the stamped, flat-black steelies with gaudy plastic covers.
Tired Iron ain't got no time to wear out...

My rigs:

1985 Ford F150 | 4x2 | 300ci OHV inline six | 4-speed OD manual | 310K | No power brakes | Running 100% - It hasn't driven this good in 15 years!

1984 Ford F150 | 4x2 | 300ci six | granny four | 3.55 rear end | 210K | Brakes shot. Rear drums are doing most of the work. Not fit to drive due to that.
1997 Ford Explorer XLT | 4.0L Vulcan V6 | 5-speed automatic | shift-on-the-fly 4WD | 210,000 miles | Running 95% - Needs brakes on all four corners + bald tires
1989 Ford F150 | 300cid six...again | 5-speed | 4x4 | 160K | Needs brakes done as well. Oi!

Last edited by Kenny McCormick; 06-07-2013 at 07:34 PM.

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